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DOOM MAGNETIC! - CHAPTER FOUR:
A BURST OF ENVIRONMENT
William Pauley III
I remember when I was a teenager, all those years ago, mama would try her damndest to scare me into behavin’. She said I was gonna go to hell and burn for all eternity if I didn’t start mindin’ the church. I never really had much of an imagination, so the thought of the devil, god, and a holy spirit just didn’t really sit right with me.
I did end up goin’ to church though, but more in hopes of meetin’ girls than savin’ my soul. Mama always wanted to sit in the front row, get as close to the action as she could. I remember that ol’ pastor, too. He had the hugest goddamn nostrils there ever was. I used to think that if ever I was given the chance, I could prob’ly fit my entire fuckin’ fist right up his snout. I never got that chance, but I did manage to get three fingers inside of his daughter later that Summer, but that’s a whole ‘nother story.
Anyway, once that pastor got a’goin’, mama would leap out of her seat and shout at the top of her lungs. She wouldn’t even be speakin’ in English, she would just babble and scream like some damn fool. The other kids used to ask if mama was outta her damn mind. I never fought ‘em, neither, for all I knew, she was.
I used t’get so red in the face durin’ her little outbursts. Finally, I just started t’sneak out into the hall whenever I could see she was getting’ riled up. Ain’t no way I wanted to associate myself with those fools in that church, no matter the cost—hell, fire, whatever. Anything would be better than to spend all eternity with folks that carry on the way they do, anyhow.
I raised all kinds of hell after that, some of which I got caught for, some of which I didn’t. Shit, I did everything from pissin’ in the communion wine to jerkin’ off to pictures of naked angels that were printed on every Sunday’s program.
People used to tell my mama that I was a ne’er do well, that I wasn’t gonna amount to shit. I used to get so pissed whenever they’d say it too, but now, lookin’ back, standin’ in front of my rusty-ass Chevy van with a broken finger, injured palms and runnin’ from a man with a goddamn cue-ball for an eye…well, I can’t help but think that, shit, they may have been right.
Marley flips up her visor.
“You ready?”
“Give me just a minute…” I say, holdin’ up the empty ice bucket. She nods and flips her visor back down.
I walk over towards the Motel Vera main office where the ice machine is located. The glow from the machine alone illuminates half the dusty lot. Bright fucker. I shield my eyes with my Stetson and push my fist against the dispensing button. The machine vibrates and sputters. I hear a loud crunch and tumblin’, but not of ice. It sounds more like a couple a metal bricks rollin’ and smashin’ into one another. I put my ear up to the front of the machine. All of a sudden boilin’ hot water sprays from the dispensary, scalding my fingers and soakin’ my left leg in the process.
“Goddamn it!” I shout, as I pitch the fuckin’ bucket about ten yards out into the lot. “Can’t nothin’ go right today? Christ!”
Marley’s watching me, unmoving, from her motorcycle. That woman must think I’m nothin’ but a goddamn fool. And, shit, it just gets worse once my confidence is rattled.
I pick up the bag and walk back over to my vehicle.
“Why don’t we just ride together? I’ve got plenty of room here in the van.”
“I’d rather not. I think it’s best if we didn’t know too much about each other. It could cloud our thinking.”
“Yeah, I reckon you’re right. Have you ever been to Planet Japan before?”
“No. But I have GPS, it shouldn’t be that difficult to find.”
“I was only thinkin’ of that burst of environment out there. There are all kinds of black holes, vortexes and poison clouds, crazy shit. If you don’t know what you’re doin’, you could easily get killed about a half a million different ways.”
“I’ll be fine.”
“Alright then.” I hop in the van. She wants to get killed, fine by me, it’s no sweat off of my ball sack.
I put the key in the ignition and flick my wrist. The van stalls. Piece of shit. I turn the key back, then try and start it again. The engine roars and jumps as I put it into gear.
We’ll see just how well she does trying to get through that asteroid belt, just beyond the break in Nevada’s atmosphere.
I give it some gas till the speedometer reads 45. I pull back the lift lever. Boosters beneath the van cough and sputter sparks on the dusty road as the vehicle angles itself towards the night sky. The van smoothly, but damn sure not quietly, lifts off the ground. Soon enough, it’s piercin’ through Nevada’s atmosphere and out into the wild black yonder.
Paid subscribers! The next chapter of this story will be posted on November 29th! Stay tuned for Chorizo!
A Burst of Environment
© William Pauley III, 2009
All rights reserved.
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