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DOOM MAGNETIC!!! - CHAPTER NINE:
SEASON OF THE BITCH
William Pauley III
At first, I wasn’t too sure of what it was that was happenin’. To me it looked like the sky had caught fire all in an instant, as if someone had taken a match to a tanker truck that was carryin’ enough gasoline to blow up all of Nevada, but when the light had faded and my eyesight returned, I could see the weathered face of the enemy, and this time he looked more like I remembered him lookin’ before, maybe even a little worse—his face was mangled, his teeth jutted every which way, and that cue-ball, that goddamn cue-ball eye was back. The same very eye that haunted me every night in my dreams back when I was runnin’ from him, back before I knew anything about anything. It all seemed so long ago, but it really wasn’t. Those days were nippin’ at my heels, and I had a lot more runnin’ to do before it would all be over, before the very end, that much I could tell for certain. The past was never far enough away.
That body though, that was new for damn sure. I don’t quite remember his tits lookin’ as nice as they did when he came racin’ out of that lightnin’ storm. Could be it slipped my mind, but I’m pretty certain before he was just an A cup and, baby, now those things were superstars.
He was riding a large black mare, like the ones the ghost swarm were hitched up on. He rode out of the lightnin’ and scooped up that purple television so quick, neither me or Lady even knew it was happenin’ until seconds after it already did.
Right then, instincts kicked in—new instincts—ones I never even dreamed of havin’ just days before. I sprinted across the cracked desert dirt using the trainin’ I received from good ol’ Banta.
I caught up t’that bastitch in no time.
Once I was in reach, I grabbed ahold of that demon horse’s tail and yanked back on it with all my might. It squalled and stopped dead in its tracks, buckin’ left and right, tryin’ in all its power to shake me off. I leapt up over it, wrapped my arms ‘round Qoser’s sexy, tiny new body, and pulled him down from his throne, slammin’ his jarhead against the dirt so hard that it shattered into a million pieces. The wet glass sparkled like a sea of diamonds under the electric moonlight.
“You fool!” Qoser shouted at me, spittin’ chemicals and glass remnants as he did. “You really think you can stop me?! You’re nothing but a thorn in my side! Just a pain in the ass! Certainly no match for me!”
He rubbed his soft, girly hands over my face, tracin’ the outline of the red lightnin’ bolt tattoo with his long fingernails. “Your new powers are my old powers, Maundin. You don’t stand a fucking chance!”
Right then, I’m a little embarrassed t’say, he let me have it good, and he didn’t even have to lay a single finger on me. He closed his eye and next thing I know, I was bein’ tossed, stabbed, beaten, kicked from so many directions that I didn’t even get a chance t’see what was doin’ it to me, but deep down I knew. He was right, I was no match for his ghost army, but my mama will be the first to say I’m nothin’ if not a little hard-headed. I wasn’t gonna let a little thing like gettin’ my ass handed to me in a fight stand between me and my television. I guess that’s why when I saw Qoser open the Doom Magnetic, I did everything I could to escape the phantom’s clutches and get through it before it closed up and I’d have t’start lookin’ for him from scratch.
Lady and I made it in just before the slit closed on up around our toes.
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Season of the Bitch
© William Pauley III, 2011
All rights reserved.
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