From the Desk of William Pauley III
I barely woke up today. I came out of this last sleep in the same way a corpse might crawl out of its grave. It wasn’t supposed to happen. I’m not supposed to be here.
But I’m here.
Somehow.
And it’s Saturday.
And you know what we do on Saturday’s, right?
Even if we’re technically supposed to be dead, we still GET WEIRD.
Today, I’m sitting in my comfy chair, watching my dog chew on the same bone he’s chewed on for the last 8 months or so, sipping coffee and typing bullshit into my phone. Does anybody even read these things? I get a ton of traffic on my site, so I assume so, but sometimes this place feels like a ghost town.
I should’ve died.
I don’t know why I feel this way. It’s not like I had a wild night or anything. I just feel like that last sleep was too fucking deep. I came out of it gasping for air. That’s what people do right before death, right?
Wrong. I survived! And I’m not going to waste another second of this precious life.
That’s why I immediately sat down and watched Stay Tuned for the 115th time this year. It’s one of my favorite movies. Have you seen it?
To sum it up briefly, this movie is nuts.
Roy and Helen are having marital troubles, mostly due to Roy’s obsession with television. During an argument, their old TV set is destroyed and a traveling salesman makes Roy an offer he can’t refuse. Now they’re the owners of a home entertainment system that would make every couch potato in the neighborhood mad with envy.
The catch?
The TV is from Hell—yes, the Hell—complete with 666 channels of demonic programming and a satellite dish that zaps any unfortunate soul who comes near it. Before long, Roy and Helen find themselves living inside the programming, jumping from one bizarre channel to the next in an effort to save their souls from eternal damnation.
Can they survive the full 24 hours while roaming around hellish landscapes? Will they work out their marital issues in the process? What’s the Hellevision equivalent of Wayne’s World?
All of these questions and more will be answered right here. (consider this an Oddities Theater bonus episode)
Alright, I’m off to spin records and write words. Hopefully better words than all the nonsense so far.
Later!
The Phantom of Regular Size
dir. Shinya Tsukamoto
Last Week / This Week
Last week I was slingin’ DOOM over in Bloomington, Indiana at The Bloomington Alternative Media Festival. I met so many cool and interesting people! At one point, there was a crowd huddled around my table, waiting in line to buy books. That was a first for me. The people of Bloomington like their weird fiction, that’s for sure. Thanks for coming out and buying books! And thanks for all the wonderful conversations! I had a blast. Bloomington, you rock.
I have one more live event scheduled this year, the Krampus Art Market @ Villainous Pub here in Lexington, Kentucky. For more info, click here.
Q&A: Have a question for me? Ask anything! I’ll be compiling questions (along with mostly honest answers) in a special edition of this newsletter (the last of the year). Shoot me an email: contact@doomfiction.com
Man, last week you all blew my mind when “A Mist of Light” was streamed more than 200 times in its first 24 hours… but in only a week you all crushed that record. “The Eden Room” was streamed over 500 times in its first 24 hours on the site! FIVE HUNDRED TIMES. Holy hell. By the time it goes behind the paywall (on Monday) the story will have received well over a thousand streams! (Haven’t listened yet? Give it a spin here.) I’ve been doing this gig for about 20 years now and I’m only just now realizing it might be possible to make a living off of these weird little stories. If you enjoy these posts, please consider a monthly subscription. It’s only $5 and it gives you instant access to the Doom Fiction library. Tons of audiobooks, short stories, exclusive articles, art projects, you name it. All for the price of a cup of coffee! Once I have enough subscribers, I’ll have all the time in the world to create even more weirdness for you. Save the weird! Become a subscriber today!
On the upcoming episode of Storytime!, we’ll be listening to Connor Brannigan’s brilliant narration of “Life is Beautiful (In Spite of Everything).” Catch it on Monday!
Check out this excellent reader review of The Tower! Thanks, Chris! Pick up a signed copy here.
Oh, and paid subscribers also have access to a Choose-Your-Own-Adventure-type story called A Night in Eighth Block Tower, where you’re the protagonist (or antagonist—your choice!) exploring one of the most bizarre apartment buildings in all of fiction. You get to make two choices a week, and your choices determine just how deep into the madness you’ll go. New to the game? Feel free to join in with the rest of us, or to go back and start from the beginning. See you on Tuesday! Not a paid subscriber? Join in on the fun today:
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Oddities Theater
Roadgames (stylized as Road Games) is a 1981 Australian thriller film directed by Richard Franklin and starring Stacy Keach and Jamie Lee Curtis. (Wikipedia)
Synopsis: The film follows a truck driver traveling across Australia who, along with the help of a hitchhiker, seeks to track down a serial killer who is butchering women and dumping their dismembered bodies along desolate highways. (Wikipedia)
The Couch Potato Memoirs
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