Issue III
From the Desk of William Pauley III
Greetings, lovely creatures! I’m writing to you today from my hotel room in Rancho Cucamonga, CA. I’m out here looking for one of the coolest, rarest records in existence, an original, early pressing of “Yesterday and Today” by The Beatles, also known as The Butcher Cover.
Read all about the history of The Butcher Cover here.
As many of you know, I’m an avid record collector, but I’m not one of those cats walking around with a fat wallet, dropping thousands of dollars on these thin plastic discs. If I can’t find it for dirt cheap, spending literally hours of my life sitting on the grimy floor of some hole-in-the-wall record store, digging through dusty clearance crates, then I don’t want it. I like treasure hunting. That’s my thing. If I can manage to find gold in the middle of a scrap heap, it makes all those hours of unproductive digging well worth it.
With that said, I’m not naive. I know the chances of me finding an original Beatles Butcher cover in the $1 bin are slim to none, as 99.9% of everyone in the vinyl record industry are well aware of this valuable record and therefore would never toss it in the value bin if they ever came across it. But…there’s still that .01% chance, and I recently came across some information that raised my luck of finding one at that price point by 70%.
You see, I follow many online vinyl communities and even record shops I may never actually ever visit in person, just to see the things others are finding. It’s how I have fun. Don’t judge. And the other day, I came across a post from a vinyl newb that contained a photo of a solid state Butcher cover in immaculate condition, with a fresh, hot pink $1 sticker in the upper right hand corner. The caption read simply, “This is weird.” The comment section immediately blew up with everyone asking the poster if they bought the record or put it back. The poster then said, “Nah, the Beatles are facking wankers. Have at it.” Then he graciously gave us vinyl hunters the exact location of where it could be found.
Right here in Rancho Cucamonga, of all places.
This sent us all in a frenzy, as you can probably imagine. This record is worth literally thousands of dollars, and it was just chilling in some dollar bin in Southern Cailfornia! We literally have dreams about this happening!
Not to mention, monetary value aside, the cover is cool as hell! Who wouldn’t want to own this, Beatles fan or not?
When the post was first made, it was around 11PM pacific time, well after the record store’s closing hour. Seeing as how I was only a few hours away, I thought it was worth checking out. I figured all I had to do was arrive a few minutes before the store opened the next day, and BAM, I’d own a holy grail record.
Unfortunately, someone must’ve gotten to it before me. I spent ALL DAY, from the time they opened to the time they closed, sorting through those bins. I went through them again and again, like some crazed madman. They had to haul me out by the arms and legs to get me out of there (not the first time that’s happened, admittedly)!
I didn’t leave empty handed though. I found this amazing German synth record from the early 80s. Not much value, but it sounds amazing. Not only is the music great, but the record will look ace in the frame I may have prematurely bought to display my Butcher cover.
Check it out:
Not sure where I’m headed next. Life on the road has been a blast so far. Anxiously awaiting my next adventure. Of course, I’ll be updating you again next week.
Until then, enjoy Issue III of the Doom Fiction newsletter!
Later!
Mom’s 58th Birthday
So, fair warning, I’m about to get serious for a moment.
I’m writing this newsletter on what would have been my mother’s 58th birthday. I don’t ever talk about it online, or hell even in person for that matter, but still some of you may know that I recently lost my mother to her battle with depression. Her death wasn’t ruled a suicide, but her life absolutely ended over losing the will to live. She stopped taking care of herself, refused to see her many doctors, and even stopped eating entirely. Honestly, the last two years of her life were a horror show.
She was a lovely human being, and the greatest mom I ever could’ve asked for. She was lively and fun and everyone who knew her loved her dearly. Seeing her mental and physical health gradually decline over the years has been one of the most heartbreaking things I’ve ever been witness to.
Without getting into all the details, she was sick for nearly her entire life, with multiple illnesses. She went through multiple treatments, took a basket full of medications daily (literally), and had scheduled doctor visits anywhere from 1 to 3 times a week. Unfortunately, my mother lived in a town with very few options for medical treatment, so she grew accustomed to a set of doctors who viewed her as a paycheck and not as an actual human being in need. They often charged her for unnecessary appointments and put her on multiple medications that conflicted with other medications she’d been prescribed by other doctors. They were just phoning it in. They didn’t really care about her well being.
With great help from my brother and sister-in-law, I tried talking my mom into moving closer to where I was living at the time. I lived in a bigger city with lots of healthcare options, so it only made sense that she should make the move. She considered it, but time and time again she turned down our offers to get her out of there.
It was around that time that I noticed a great change in her. Over the phone, she always acted like everything was hunky dory, but every time I’d visit, I became more and more concerned. She was getting thin, and eventually skeletal. Come to find out, she was starving herself. Why? We’ll never know for sure.
We urged her to see a doctor, begged really. With great apprehension, she eventually gave in to our pleading. However, she refused to see any other doctors than the ones she’d been seeing all those years before. What did they tell her? That it was this, that it was that. Every appointment it became something else. They gave her the runaround, throwing more and more bottles of pills at her, and not a single one made her feel any better.
My mother battled clinical depression all her life. Being her child, I can attest that there were many scary moments in my life where I truly thought I was going to lose her. Eventually my mother became so depressed that she stopped getting out of bed entirely. We had to make sure we were calling her or visiting her daily in order to make sure she was okay and had everything she needed.
One day, she stopped answering our calls.
The next month or so was a hellish battle that I will never put in print. We became witness to the atrocious things depression is capable of, and in the end, we lost our mom. It was her choice. It was what she wanted. I am 100% sure of that.
Seeing that progression was devastating. I can only imagine how my mom must have felt. Still, a selfish part of me wishes she was still here with us. We had so many great times together. I know she would still be here with us today if she had proper care for her mental health.
So, why am I sharing all of this? Partly because I think I have to, in order to clear my head (though I rarely talk about it, it’s always on my mind. Always), but also because I think her story may be able to help someone. If you’re struggling, get help. Mental illness, when left untreated, can progress rapidly over a short amount of time. It’s a horrible way to exit this world. I wouldn’t wish it upon anyone.
I’ve struggled with my own mental health issues. We all have some battle we’re fighting. At times, we all need help, and there are amazing people in the world willing to give you that help, be it doctors, nurses, friends, family members, neighbors, or even a total stranger. Let them help.
There is good in the world. I’ve seen it. You’ll see it too.
In spite of everything, life is beautiful.
We miss and love you, mom. More than you could ever know.
Happy birthday.
On a Lighter Note…
So, I’ve been writing full time for about a year now. In that time, I’ve been clearing my mind of stories that have been percolating for years, and it feels amazing. When I sit back and think of all I’ve written in the last 12 months, it’s staggering. The Astronaut Dream Book, Fight Tub, The Ballad of Old Joe Booth, Holus Bolus, and now Twleve Residents Dreaming. That’s well over 215,000 words (I average about 1,500 words a day, taking weekends off—some days are better than others). Before this, it would’ve taken me a decade to write that much.
So, what have I learned through this experience?
So much.
For one, writing quickly is the key to tight prose.
Initially, I assumed speeding through a story would only cause me to be less attentive to certain details, especially continuity, but it actually does just the opposite. It makes sense, really. Think about everything you’ve done in the last year or two. Now think of everything you’ve done in the last week. I’m willing to bet the things you’ve done in the last week were much easier to remember than the things you did over the last couple of years, and not only that, I’m sure you’re able to remember even the smallest of details.
The same applies to writing.
By writing quickly, the story remains fresh inside your head, reducing your chances of creating errors in continuity. It also serves as a sort of chopping block. When under the gun, you know you only have a certain amount of time to tell the story you want to tell, so as you’re looking through your notes or outline and determining your writing goals for the day, automatically you sense what scenes are ultimately unnecessary to character development or plot, and you cut those suckers out before even wasting a moment of your time writing it.
Another thing I’ve learned is that it’s incredibly difficult to estimate a word count for any given story, even with 15 years of writing experience. This is because your characters will time and time again take the reigns right out of your hands and steer the story in a totally unexpected direction. These are the most exiting moments of writing, at least for me anyway. When it happens, I let the words pour out of me, freely. I don’t interfere. It’s as if I’m only a vessel, dictating some tale that belongs to the spirits in the air around me. A human Ouija board.
These moments only came to me once or twice a week in times before, but now that I’m writing every day, I have these spiritual encounters on the daily.
It’s become my religion.
Last Week / This Week
Monthly paid subscribers, you’ll have a chance to read the next installment of my new novel HOLUS BOLUS, an Eighth Block murder mystery, come Tuesday, May 2nd. If you’ve been reading along, you already know things are heating up, and those flames only get hotter in chapters 7-9. If you’re a new subscriber, don’t worry, you can still access the first 6 chapters! Subscribe today and be caught up by the time the next installment drops!
Oh, and the White Fuzz (The Bedlam Bible #2) audiobook will be available to stream on Monday, May 1st, right here on Substack!
VIP subscribers, over the last two weeks, you’ve literally watched me write two short stories from beginning to end, “Heirs of the Abyss” and “Trapdoor.” Starting on Monday, you’ll be able to read a new short story of mine, entitled “Bad Blood,” once again, as it’s being written! I’m crazy excited to begin writing this one. It’s going to be wild.
To read “Bad Blood” and other unreleased first drafts, become a VIP subscriber today!
Skull Candy
Things I’m Currently Stuffing Into My Head
Rick and Morty - Season 6 / With Animals by Mark Lanegan and Duke Garwood / Inter Ice Age 4 by Kobo Abe / Evil Dead Rise (Cronin)
Glad to see this, I appreciate your candid honesty. I’ll hit you up on Goodreads soon. Happy travels! You are pretty close to my area of CA!